Pencils

Let’s talk pencils. Pencils are pretty funny. I feel bad for No. 3 pencils. I wish there was something that needed No. 3 pencils. Like if you wanted to play mini golf – um, sir, is that a no.3? 

I didn’t mind mechanical pencils, but every once in a while mechanical pencils decide to just screw you. You’re writing along and then the lead just gets nervous and ducks back into the pencil. So you start pumping it out, jabbing the eraser, some lead comes out. Then the moment the lead touches the paper, slooooop. Back in.

In all honesty, I really hate writing in pencil. Maybe that’s why I sucked at standardized tests. I remember I went to take an exam and the mechanical pencil didn’t specify #2. so I asked the girl in front of me for 1 of her 19 sharpened pencils. She reached into her bag, and took out a new pencil. Never sharpened. She had a GROSS of sharpened pencils. One for each Goddamn question she was gonna get right, which was a lot. So I went over and started cranking it in the crappy sharpener. My elbow is like numb, so I try going lefty. Finally, I pull it out and the pencil is like 2 inches long and only sharp on one side. Then I sit down and I’m going through and I skip the 5^th question, go on to #6...but I filled in the #5 bubble….which I don't realize until the 10^th question. You’ve all done this – you’ve all had to erase a bubble once. You practice erasing on the scratch paper and it seems to be a good eraser. So you get the 'all clear' and go to erase the bubbles on the actual test sheet.... SMUDDDDDDDGE.